Long Journeys with a Baby

Me, Evie and Mum live in Bristol which is over two hours away from where both sets of grandparents live. I still haven't made my mind up if this is a great thing or absolutely terrible. There's definitely pros and cons. For example we don't get any unexpected grandads at the door on a Saturday morning for a cup of tea but on the other hand there's no freebie baby sitters on tap whenever me and mum need a break to feel normal again.

So today we did the two and half hour drive to see the grandparents. Not really out of choice, mum had a hen night to go to so we've combined it all by using the grandparents house as a bed and breakfast.

A two and a half hour drive with a baby can easily be a five hour journey of hell. But we seem to have discovered some skills that meant today we did it within the time quoted on the sat nav. We've started to get so familiar with this now that it's abit like a military operation that begins the moment the morning alarm sounds (by morning alarm I mean Evie waking up). Here's how we did it...

Firstly it's the dads duty to ensure the car is full of petrol before departure. And that mum has everything to hand she may need including a pillow for a nap, if mum doesn't get a nap it will bite dad in the ass later. Secondly, time departure to when you would be putting Evie down for a morning nap (usually between 8.30 and 10).

There's an art to mastering the correct speed. You need to stay steady at a speed that gets the journey over quickly but that's not so fast the drone from the tyres are too loud to prevent Evie from sleeping. Avoid stopping at all costs, you have to predict queues, hold ups or when some fool might decide at last minute to cut across lanes to overtake a lorry going 30mph on the motorway. As you approach a potential stopping moment take it out of gear and slowly come to a halt gently using the brakes only when necessary, if you can come to a natural stop gradually that is favourable. Stop too soon, and she WILL wake up turning the journey into chaos. And then there's switching lanes, do it swiftly, so the tyres don't clip on the cat eyes for too long. Never blast the horn during a sleep, no matter how much of a total bellend the other driver is (this is the most difficult thing for me to stick to), and never open windows mid nap, not even if the dog has farted.

I know this all sounds too precise, calculated and cautious but it's necessary in keeping Evie quiet and mum happy. And if mum is happy i get to stop at the new Gloucester services on the way home for a sausage roll. Happy times.